The Four Types of Parenting Styles

Have you ever looked at your peers or some of the other children in your life and said: "My parents would have never allowed that" or "That parent is way too strict." I'm sure we have all done it at one point or another. Now have you ever played your parents against each other? Come on you guys be honest. Maybe you wanted to go somewhere but you knew if you asked your mom she would say no so instead you went to your dad. I know I've tried it before but unfortunately for me my parents developed a system: When in doubt Mom always makes the final decision. My parents decided on this method because of their different parenting styles, my mom being more authoritative and my dad being slightly more on the permissive side. In this post I will attempt to answer some of the more common questions associated with this topic.

The Four Types

Authoritarian:
Authoritarian parents generally have very huh expectations for their children and very strict rules that they expect to be followed at all times with no exceptions. According to Baumrind, "People with this parenting style often utilize punishment rather than discipline, but are not willing or able to explain the reasoning behind their rules." 

• Some characteristics of this kind of parenting include:

• Strict rules and expectations
• Children do not have choices or options
• Very demanding
• Utilization of punishments without explanation
• No expressions of warmth or nurturing
• Some effects this has is that the children:
• Tend to associate obedience with success
• Display aggressive behavior outside the home
• Act fearful or shy around strangers
• Often have lower self-esteem
• Have difficulty in social situations

Authoritative:

Although it may look and sound similar in name, Authoritative parents are very different from Authoritarian parents.  These types of parents also have high expectations for their children however, when rules are broken they use fair and consistent disciplinary tactics. They expect their children o reason and work independently however they are also flexible. When a child does something wrong they are willing to hear their explanation and adjust the consequences.

• Some characteristics of this kind of parenting include:

• Listening to your children
• Encouraging independence
• Expressing warmth and nurturance
• Allowing children to express opinions
• Encouraging children to discuss options
• Some effects this has is that the children:
• Tend to have happier dispositions
• Have good emotional control and regulation
• Develop good social skills
• Are self-confident about their ability to learn new skills

Permissive:

Permissive parenting is also known as indulgent parenting. Permissive parents make few demands of their children and give them few rules. They don't have high expectations for their children and rarely discipline them when they break the rules. These types of parents tend to avoid confrontation and do not enforce mature behavior.

• Some characteristics of this kind of parenting include:
• Having few rules or standards for behavior
• Inconsistent rules
• Being very nurturing and loving towards their kids
• Seeming like a friend not a parent
• Using bribes to get child to behave
• Some effects this has is that the children:
• Lack self-discipline
• Sometimes have poor social skills
• May be self-involved and demanding
• May feel insecure

Uninvolved:

Uninvolved parenting, also called neglectful parenting, is probably the worst kind of parenting. These type of parents are often indifferent, dismissive, or even completely neglectful to their children. They may provide basic needs like food and shelter, but they do not give their children the emotional care they need for healthy development.

• Some characteristics of this kind of parenting include:
• Being emotionally distant
• Having few/no expectation or demands
• Offering little to no supervision
• Intentionally avoiding their children
• Some effects this has is that the children:
• Fear becoming dependent on other people
• Are often emotional withdrawn
• Tend to be more delinquent in adolescence
  
• Must learn to provide fro themselves

Why Does It Matter

As mentioned before, developing a clear and straight forward parenting style is what will shape our young children. What parents say, how they act, and whatever they do largely impact children and their development from the time they are newborns until the time they are grown ups, and even then the affects can be carried into adulthood. Therefore it is important that you either develop or correct your parenting style so that your child can reach their full potential.